BE STILL AND LET GOD

This pain that won't go away ! This pain that won't leave my mind alone ! Just help me Lord to get over it. Its twenty years now. Lord, I just want my life back !!!

I was subjected to so much abuse and shameful encounters that sometimes I wish I could block the memory of it. Despised, violated, rejected and abandoned. Almost every evil and unthinkable experiences that humiliates a girl came across my path as a growing girl. With scalded brain, emotionally broken, hopeless and illusioned, I cried out, " Lord, if I'm in a dream, please let me wake up.

Sometimes life hands you with pills of bitterness and no answers to why it has to be you. You are torn between the pain of the past and the fears of the future and so your decisions are mired even before they are considered.

You just don't know how to put it all behind and move on. You carry the pain and a burden that no one else undestand except God. Tears are the only witness to the horrific memory that has been kept like a treasure that does nothing good to your life.

But you know what, it has to go. There are many abused children who did not live to tell what they went through but you did. What you suffered has made you a potential witness of what God can do out of a broken life. Your suffering is so that you can stand in the gap for victims who have no hope.

Instead of courting grief and sorrow, just lift up your eyes to the blue sky (Ps. 121:1-2) and behold the face of Him whose heart was broken so that He will identify with your pain - the Lord Jesus. Grab hold of His hands by faith and let go all the pains. I did, and I'm glad that I did. I made up my mind to put the past behind me and press through the uncertainties with the Lord to see what lies ahead.

Hard though, but I finally found hope and strength in my daily moments with the Lord. No longer do I carry heaviness in my heart. I certainly am joyful and at peace.

Ps. 4:4 - "Stand in awe and sin not, commune with thy own heart on your bed and be still "
Ps. 46:10 - "Be still and know that I am God "

There is strength in the quiet place of God's Presence. Be still and let God.

Cheers,
Hetty.